a) a warmer climate;
or
b) an urban area with a killer public transit system.
OK, really, Denver doesn't get that much snow. We don't. However, we just had our second blizzard in 10 days. Well, I believe that technically yesterday's storm didn't quite carry all the blizzard criteria, but I still had to shovel my fucking car out of a fucking snowdrift for the second time in just under a week. Last Sunday I had to dig out to get to my parents' house for Christmas, today I had to dig out to see Andrew Bird and DeVotchka at the Ogden.
I was wary about going out tonight at all - first of all, I drive a little, no-wheel drive Saturn sedan. It's not a snow car. I hate driving in the snow, I always have. But I'm not an SUV kinda girl, and I like the great gas mileage. Secondly, Denver is not exactly known for having an efficient snow removal system. Weird, huh? And going to a show at the Ogden means finding street parking. I was most certainly not looking forward to it. I was, however, looking forward to the show. Now, DeVotchka I can take or leave. I'm not overly familiar with them. I like what I've heard, but by no means are they a favorite band of mine. I adore Andrew Bird, on the other hand, and had already missed out on a show of his earlier this year.
The show was at 9:00, so I left home just before 8:00. I thought it would be plenty of time. I got downtown around 8:15 and started circling the Ogden. No parking. Anywhere. I saw plenty of people walking toward the theater, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out where they were coming from! I kept circling, expanding my diameter around the Ogden. Unfortunately, while Colfax Avenue was pretty clear, the further I got from Colfax the worse the streets were. I almost got stuck a few times and I was sliding all over the place.
It wasn't until I passed the Fillmore (a few blocks west of the Ogden) that I remembered that Yonder Mountain String Band was playing there tonight. Yippee, that's gotta help the parking situation. There was a $5 event parking lot near the Fillmore, so I checked my purse... no cash. If only I'd planned to drink at the show, I would have had cash. But noooooooo, I figured I'd be doing enough drinking tomorrow and didn't want to have to drive in the snow after drinking, so I didn't bother to get cash. That'll learn me.
So I kept driving. And sliding. It was frustrating enough, but then I realized that I had to pee. Yup, things were just getting better and better. Finally, after an hour of my fruitless parking search, I gave up and headed home. I couldn't remember if there were two openers or not, but as things were I was setting myself up to miss Andrew Bird anyway. Which would have really pissed me off. So I went home. I'm now soothing myself with some whiskey and some Mysterious Production Of Eggs. Now if I just crank my heat up to about 300 degrees and ask my neighbors to come over and get really drunk and obnoxious, it'll be just like attending the show!
So. Here are the lessons that I learned this evening:
1) Andrew Bird hates me.
2) Winter concerts suck. Even if there's no snow, it's still damn cold.
3) Always plan to drink at the show. Always.
MX Missiles
those that will judge
will say you're aloof
but you know the truth is a seed
you know what you need
is a conflagration
'cause when i see the blood
and the bits of your broken tooth
it gives me the proof that i need
it's the proof that you bleed
it's a revelation
yeah it's a revelation
it's a revelation
i thought you were a life-sized paper doll
propped up in the hardware store
propped up on the front lawn watching the parade
of those legionnaires with 2x4's
as they're marching off to war
yeah they're marching off to war
i didn't know what you were made of
color of your blood what you're afraid of
are you made of calcium or are you carbon based
and if you're made of calcium i'll have to take a taste
'cause listen, calcium is deadly, but tender to the tooth
and it's one sure-fire way to know if you're mx-missile proof
oh no
or if you're just aloof
you were in the ground in late november
when the leaves and earth were damp
did you, did you think they would remember
how you almost made state champ
'cause when you're running for the game against alfonsus
and you fell upon the ground and chipped your tooth
oh no listen, that might really have surprised us
to learn that you weren't really mx-missile proof
oh i thought you were a life-sized paper doll
and you're propped up in the hardware store
you were propped up in the front lawn watching the parade
of those legionnaires with 2x4's
as they're marching off to war
yeah they're marching off to war
oh they're marching...
No comments:
Post a Comment